The pain of a tooth cutting through must be unimaginable for a baby. We were warned by other parents that it's a difficult time for both baby and parents. We are now beginning to see that they definetly weren't lying. George's first tooth cutting is providing him with yet another pain trigger to add to his many complexities.
It's tough being a baby, but it's even tougher for George. He has to endure so much on a daily basis that it seems to overwhelm him.
As his cries become more and more pained he desperately grabs at clothing with a vice like grip once grasped. His eyes look so sad and desperate for help. We try our best to soothe him and provide pain relief at the earliest opportunity but this doesn't always work. Infact the side effects can sometimes be worse, specifically the slowing of the gut. He struggles so much with his gut and bowels that suppositories are required just to help him go to the toilet.
It's hard to see your baby in distress and it is very tiring physically and emotionally with George. Natalie and I endure it every day and often have to relieve each other after only relatively short stints.
When expecting George the last thing we ever imagined needing was respite care but it is so vital to us. Allowing us a few hours of freedom to do other things but George is becoming so distressed and inconsolable at the moment that we are having to provide the respite carer with respite.
It is really difficult when you can't comfort George but it's equally hard to witness someone else trying desperately, be it family, friends or respite carers. Everyone just wanting George to be comfortable, relaxed and pain free so that we can enjoy him.
We felt sadness today that whilst we were out walking the dogs, the respite carer felt it necessary to message us due to George's level of distress. Fortunately we were almost home by this point and we naturally wanted to try comfort George as parents but also wanted to offer a bit of relief to the respite carer who is excellent with him but sometimes George just can't be settled and we all need a short break to recharge ready for the next stint.
As the saying goes, it takes a village. Sometimes it feels like we need a city!
Natalie and I have both struggled a lot mentally and it's easy to feel you're not doing enough but we know that we are doing our best. We often say that the staff at the hospice know better than most just how difficult George is and we often say to them "you know what it's like" when talking about looking after George, but their response is that they know what it's like for a few hours, maybe a full 12 hour shift but they can't begin to imagine what it's like living it 24/7. It's comments like this that really make us appreciate just how tough our job is and that we must be doing OK.
We are so proud of George and we are really relishing parenthood even with all the added struggles. We haven't had a dream day out as a family yet, but we have made several successful short trips to shops. This is inspiring confidence for a nice day out to the zoo or sealife centre but we need George to be settled for longer periods first. Hopefully after seeing a neurologist and a medication review he will be fit for it.
We feel sad that we still haven't managed a day trip out with George yet and we often talk about our dreams of taking him to enjoy the sport with us. We haven't been to watch Sale Sharks rugby since George's arrival and have recently talked about what we will do should they make it to the premiership final. Something that we would have loved to experience with George, not that he would have been able to this year, even if he was healthy but it just brings it all home.
We will soon have euro fever and we love the buzz of an international competition, although it often feels that it would be more enjoyable had we been born elsewhere ;) Natalie and I prefer the experience of live rugby over football and both gave up football season tickets for rugby ones but we do enjoy both sports and are more than happy to be armchair supporters of the football.
I have an unhealthy obsession with replica football shirts. I like to own them but don't really wear them, they just sit in the drawer but there's something comforting about knowing they are there.
I think it stems from childhood, the excitement of a new shirt, running around imagining I was whatever player was flavour of the week and there's just something about the emotion that a replica shirt stirs in me.
Football shirts age, and quicker than ever these days with each lasting for just one season which in essence is a bad thing. Especially when they are so expensive to buy, but just like when you hear an old song on the radio, they seem to take me back to the time that they were the current strip. They bring back memories of games attended, good ones, bad ones. They make me think of the people that I experienced them with. I think of when I started gaining independence and traveling to away games with friends as a young lad. Initially on the supporters coach but as we grew older we would venture onto the trains and try sneaking into pubs wondering if the bar staff would think we looked 18 or not? I think back on all of the experiences I had growing up watching the sport. The fun times and the life lessons that it has taught me along the way. There is a lot more to a replica football shirt than just the material it is made from. They become priceless and impossible to part with, even if they are never to be worn again. They serve as a reminder of past times. It pains me to think that George won't be able to enjoy sport in the same way that I have, but I'm sure we will find a way for him to embrace it.
When the current England shirt was released I moaned like most about the reimagined St George's cross and obviously the ridiculous price, giving it the "who would buy one of those, people must be mad" but we are now realising that it's the small things that can make a difference. I always say to Natalie that I would like to frame some of my sport shirts and put them up in our darts room, and by darts room I mean spare bedroom which happens to house our dartboard, but it is our darts room. It has provided us a breakout area for when George is settled and gives us some time away from the TV screen and offers us a bit of fun and escapism.
As a result we have decided that we will be mad and we will buy replica England shirts to unite us as a family and will act as a lasting memory in a frame on the wall long after the tournament is over. Regardless of how soon England are knocked out, it will always be the first international tournament that we experience with George. Hopefully the first of many, but at least we will have a lasting memory of this one to enjoy and who knows, maybe just maybe they might do the unthinkable and win it?
Comments